What is Love? Love is truly something you feel and hard to explain.
Love is a force of nature. We cannot command, demand, or take away love any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind.
You cannot dictate how, when and where love expresses itself. You can choose to surrender to love or not, but in the end, love strikes like unpredictable lightning. Love does not come with conditions, stipulations or agendas. Love radiates independently of our fears and desires.
Love is free. It cannot be bought, sold or traded. You cannot make someone love you, nor can you prevent it — not for any amount of money. Love is not a substance, not a commodity, not even a marketable power source. Love has no territory and no borders.
Marriage is a matter for the law, for rules and courts and property rights. Legally, marriage is all about contracts. Marriages, whether arranged or not, may have little to do with love. Marriage and love can be very complex. Most people confuse comfort and habit with love.
One can buy loyalty, companionship, attention, false compassion and sex. Love cannot be bought or sold. Sex with someone you love creates a bond beyond words and is as real as it gets.
Love cannot be turned on as a reward or turned off as a punishment. Only something pretending to be love can be used as a lure, as a hook, for bait and switch, imitated or insinuated. The real deal springs freely from the heart.
Love speaks out for justice and protests when harm is done. Love points out the consequences of hurting oneself or others. Love allows room for anger, grief or pain to be expressed and released. Love does not threaten to withhold itself if it doesn’t get what it wants. Love does not say, “If you are bad, I won’t love you any more.”
Love cares what becomes of you and is compassionate. Love cannot be manipulated or restrained. Love honors the sovereignty of each soul and is its own law.
Whether it’s called romantic love, obsessive love, passionate love, or infatuation, men and women of every era and every culture have been affected by this irresistible power.
The intensity of romantic love tends to last somewhere from six months to two years before turning into attachment in most relationships. Romance is where love begins.
When infatuation ends that’s where real love begins. Love is not perfect. There will be arguments and disagreements but love withstands them. Love bonds a couple truly and securely.
Behavioral traits of early stage romantic love:
- The romantic partner is the center of the world and you like things they like
- Intense energy and hard to sleep
- Loss of appetite
- Always thinking of them
- Seeing things that remind you of them
- Separation anxiety
- Craving to be around them or talk to them
- Intense motivation for emotional union
One of the best feelings in the world is, without question, love. We fall into it, seek it out, cherish it and share it. Love is an experience that everyone can understand, regardless of who they are, what language they speak or where they live. For as universal as love is, it’s a complex, powerful emotion that is hard to define
Love is when you choose to be your best when the other person is not at their best.
Love is when what you want is never important. You put the other person first.
If you truly love someone, both of these definitions will ring true. It’s not meant to be easy, but the reward is infinite when you can look past the initial layers of romance, passion and wonder to recognize something deeper.
Real love takes a while to get started and you have to know the person as a friend first. It’s never forced. It comes naturally. If you let it mature accordingly, it gets to the point where if you’re feeling it, odds are she is too. It happens when you both mentally take notes on each others’ qualities so you can surprise each other with how much you’ve retained when you talk, do special things for them, and use it to make the relationship stronger.
You will be happy doing little things for them to make them smile. Anything that shows you are thinking of them are the best things you can do in a mutually loving relationship.
The little things matter the most. A text in the morning to say have a good day, I love you, thinking of you, I miss you, to a funny photo referencing inside jokes.
You know it’s real love when you are willing to do ANYTHING for the other person and they feel the same. You introduce that person to every aspect of your life and you are completely open to them about everything, not hiding anything. Falling in love has become more complicated in our generation because too many people don’t stay loyal. Too many people are in love with the idea of being love.
Minor infatuation is a good driving force for getting to know people. It makes things exciting. When you’re really in love you feel their presence and it’s intoxicating.
There will be that moment of fear. How much are you willing to let them in? How many emotional walls are you willing to take down for this person? What if you get hurt again? When that time comes you just have to embrace it and remember how it was when you first met that person.
There are 7 billion people in this world and odds are you can fall in love with many of them. To be able to say I love this one and I didn’t leave is what real love is.
Puppy love is the feeling you give a person when they give copious amounts of attention and you feel wonderment for the first month. True love is the idea you will always, truly, have another human being, regarded as a significant other, to back you up and support you in all aspects of life. A partner to run alongside you and have your back is ultimately the goal.
Real love is all of that, plus accepting the person for who they are, who they will become, and who they want to be. To be the one that’s there for the successes, the failures, the joys, the sadness, the little kid things and the big things.
The person you love makes you feel whole, complete, like nothing else in this world matters as long as you have them. True love is when you wake up and go to sleep and they are the first and last thing on your mind. It’s when someone asks you how you feel about someone and you can explain every detail regardless how long it takes. It’s when you can’t think about being without them because it scares you. True love is when you find a friend and a significant other all in one.
You can miss someone when they leave, and it’s okay to be apart for a little amount of time, but if they never return, it takes a chunk out of you. You’re okay without them, and eventually fine if they leave, but you’re never really whole.
Real love requires real forgiveness and real compromise. Real love requires you work with one another on each other’s flaws instead of always accommodating them or pointing out said flaws. With the longevity promised by real love there has to be a commitment not only to one another, but also to forgive, to accept and to work with one another going forward.
WHAT LOVE IS NOT:
Love is not crazy jealousy or accusations. Love is not hiding things from your significant other, be it financial or actions. Love doesn’t hurt. If it hurts it’s something else. Fear. Attachment. Addiction. Possessiveness.
Love is not ignoring someone and not listening to them. Love is also not ignoring problems you may have with your significant other, in hopes those problems will just go away or resolve on their own.
Many people say they love each other after getting off the phone. I’m guessing they don’t know what love is. It has become habit. It has become their comfort zone. Some rarely say they love their significant other, stating it’s “just words.” Although true, if there is meaning behind it and you get along well and talk things out, the words will match the actions.
Many of us have been told we’re loved, however, the actions we receive are far from love. Maybe you’re accused of things you aren’t doing. Maybe you’re yelled at for being late. Maybe you don’t do things good enough to their satisfaction. Maybe everything you do is wrong and you can’t catch a break. Then after a phone call they say “I love you.” Really?
Love is all selflessness. It’s the opposite of need and attachment. To an individual it’s a sensation of allowing, rather than seeking. Letting go, rather than grasping.
Love is subtle and silent and delicate, and in its beginnings it can be drowned out easily by attachment, lust and fear. Love must have space. Love is powerful but it isn’t forceful.
Jealousy isn’t love, nor is it evidence of love. Jealousy is fear. Love doesn’t drive people mad, it drives them sane. Desire, in its different forms, can drive people to do anything. Love never drives people to kill or steal or cheat or worry.
Love reveals itself when you release your need to have the object of your affection, and see that there’s no reason to make it yours. That it exists at all is enough.
Love isn’t something you can aim. The truer your love is — in other words, the less you have it confused with something else — the more generalized it becomes. To love fully is to love all.
Defining it is impossible. You can throw words at it but never pin it down. Nothing is misidentified more often than love. But for now, we can know what it’s not. If it hurts, it’s not love.
Real love has permanence and with that comes new challenges and responsibilities that aren’t in the puppy love/infatuation phase. You need to respect your partner for who they are, good and bad, and embrace all parts of their individuality.
You want to devote most of your time to them because they make you happy and inspired. There’s also a sense of admiration for that person because you love who they are, but most of all you love who you are while with them. You do anything and everything to keep them happy. You deeply care for that person and your relationship because you want it to last for a really long time/forever.
When you can look at that person, notice all their flaws and insecurities, and look past them. Put up with the fights and arguments because at the end of the day they’re who you yearn for and you wouldn’t want it any other way.
Love is looking forward to going home and seeing your best friend and lover.
When love happens you will know. If after you read this and you still don’t know if you’re in love or not, well, It’s hard to describe. I’m no expert so you’ll have to rely on what you feel.
-For Tina, Irene, Cecilia, Matt, Gwen, Dave and Mom
THANKS FOR READING!
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